Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
