We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize