I skipped work to stalk him.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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