Where are you?
In a non slutty way
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
