I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
