I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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