I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
