So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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