Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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