yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
im on a boat
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