this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
