omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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