that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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