in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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