alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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