I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Is it because I queefed?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
