i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize