dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Reggie can tackle my bush.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
