Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
