I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
