but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
