Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Even my vagina gasped.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
