Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
