I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
