i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
