To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
