Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You were trust falling into bushes
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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