So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
