ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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