can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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