Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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