Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
