dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
