I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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