wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
