Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
