Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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