ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
