hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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