what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize