Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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