His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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