so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize