PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
