I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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