You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
