I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
