dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Oh god it's open bar.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
