so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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