Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
