and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
