I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
