Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
