First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
