dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
