I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
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