Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I wish I could punch you in the face.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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