His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
