Princesses don't give blow jobs
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
