i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
