He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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