I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
