When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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