somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
