well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
He felt like a one man threesome
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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