my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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