theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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