You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
