We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
